How to tell if the Person you Love is playing Head Games

Here are some manipulative maneuvers people use that you may come across and not usually notice right away while they are happening:

They patronize you and your accomplishments: when I look over the people in my life, some of them that did the most damage were not even qualified to be critiquing my work or behavior or life, and yet their words weighed a ton when I heard their criticisms and tones. It's that hair on the back of your neck rising when you know this person is not saying these things to help you along, but to further their image.

They are constantly in some kind of made up drama: let's face it these last few years have made everyone aware of some "real" issues in their lives; most manipulative people have paper tiger type dramas that just don't seem quite right in face of a real emergency.

You always feel played after an interaction: even if you can't put your finger on it, there is always that feeling that somehow this person has just gotten away with something and you don't know what it was. It seems so insidious, but yet you don't feel that way with anyone else. Somehow, they can turn everything around to be about them, and you don't even see it happening.

They have to be right: they keep going back to one minuscule same point or an incorrect fact that they think will prove them right. The facts are not always that cut and dried, no matter who has the right of way on a highway between a semi truck and a mini cooper, the semi always wins the battle. It does not matter that you had right of way, you are now dead right.

Availability and schedules: There are certain people who are with you threw thick and thin, good and bad. And then there are the ones who just vanish into thin air when you need them most, or cancel at the last crucial second on something that was very important and hard to change. Everyone always sounds sarcastic when they ask you "where is so and so this time" and again, you make up an excuse.

Of course these behaviors stem from insecurity and when someone is insecure; they have the problem, not you. You can stand by them when they get help, you can help them if they ask you for a bit of assistance in some way, but you can't do the work required of them to become a more balanced person. Some relationships can be saved if there is help received and work done to follow up and some just have to go their separate ways because of too much history.

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